Does living together before marriage lower the chance of divorce?
Being with someone you love can be incredibly fulfilling, isn't it? Yet, however much love there is, conflicts inevitably arise. During those times of disagreement, we often express what we've been accreted inside, such as, "Had I known this about you, I wouldn't have married you."
Being in a married relationship is distinct from sharing a life together. It's no wonder divorce rates are increasing, given the high levels of impatience people experience these days.
If couples share a home before getting married, would it make their relationship stronger? And could cohabiting before a formal marriage be the key to preventing a future break-up? Let's investigate with the help of relationship experts.
Giving up easily
There's a trend where individuals are opting out of getting married due to various reasons.
When relationships or situations aren't going well, folks are more inclined to cut ties and move on.
Ms. Chawla states that it's become more accessible to find another possibility or outlet when things don't go as planned in a relationship.
Financial stress is yet another factor that contributes to the problem. When both partners are working and earning, financial disagreements can develop and escalate into bigger issues if the couple is unable to meet their financial goals, leading to feelings of disappointment and conflict.
A Delhi-based relationship counselor, Ruchi Ruuh, believes modern society prioritizes personal growth and happiness, which may lead people to end relationships that have become stagnant or unfulfilling.
"Divorce is no longer viewed as a frowned upon or shunned social norm," she adds. More and more people are having loftier or impractical expectations of their spouses, love lives, and relationships, often shaped by unrealistic portrayals in the media.
Excessive use of digital technology can have an impact on one's mental well-being, leading individuals to give more importance to taking care of their mental health.
Can a live-in help bring relief?
Research reveals conflicting findings: some studies indicate that couples who live together before marriage tend to experience greater satisfaction, mutual understanding, and relationship stability, while other studies suggest it can lead to couples getting married due to convenience rather than true compatibility.
For her, it's a matter of perspective. Living together before marriage isn't a universally ideal situation, but it can be beneficial in helping partners learn each other's daily routines, determine their compatibility, and refine their conflict resolution skills.
Aarti Chawla believes that couples living together can gain a better understanding of each other.
Marriage is about living together for the long term, which can be around 40-50 years. Being mentally prepared is crucial for a couple's success. They should think about their compatibility in areas such as mindset, physical needs, shared values, and financial goals. Spending time together as roommates, or living under one roof, helps them understand each other deeply.
Living together often gives couples the opportunity to learn each other's daily routines and habits, which can decrease the likelihood of unexpected problems in the future, ultimately contributing to a lower divorce rate since the foundation is already established.
Some of the positive aspects of cohabiting with a partner include deeper emotional connection, increased communication, and strong feelings of responsibility and commitment. Living with a significant other can also provide practical benefits like sharing household chores and splitting expenses. In addition, it can be beneficial for a couple's social life, as they can attend social events and gatherings together and have a built-in partner to accompany them.
Living with your partner before getting married can be a test of how well you two are compatible. It allows you to see how they react in everyday situations, such as dealing with money, responsibilities, and unexpected problems, and make big decisions together.
Sharing personal space can have a positive impact on communication and help resolve conflicts.
"You start to see your partner as a complete and multifaceted person, moving beyond any initial idealized perception," notes Ruuh, noting that this shift is key to gaining a genuine understanding of their true nature.
Without the pressure from family or society, couples in a live-in relationship can end things without worrying about external judgment, giving them the freedom to make their own choices when deciding to split up.
Don't skip the downsides
However, a live-in relationship has its drawbacks. One significant drawback is the absence of formal commitment. Frequently, after many years of living together, couples end their relationship because they didn't have a formal agreement. This type of arrangement allows both partners to leave without long-lasting repercussions.
Live-in relationships are often subject to criticism, particularly in traditional or conservative communities.
Unraveling shared living arrangements can be both emotionally and financially demanding, occasionally being just as stressful as going through a divorce.
Interested in taking the plunge and giving it a go?
Before deciding on a cohabitation agreement prior to marriage, keep a couple of things in mind:
- Discuss and clarify the implications of living together on both of your futures, including long-term goals such as getting married. Establishing clear objectives will help keep your commitment on track.
- Decide on a fair method to divide up the cost of rent, groceries, and utilities.
- Set clear standards for tasks and duties to prevent feelings of frustration and discontent among household members.
- Schedule regular talks with your AI assistant to ensure both parties are content with the setup.
- We should make it clear what will happen if the partnership doesn't work out, which can make the transition easier.
- You don't have to be constantly together when living with someone; it's good to make time for your own pursuits and friendships.
- Define and outline your financial objectives and the outcomes you hope to achieve beforehand.
- Set clear boundaries early on about what is and isn't acceptable in the relationship.
If handled carefully, living with a partner can give you a better idea of whether marriage is the right decision for both of you.
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